Posts in Personal Development
Finding The Deeper Meaning In All Things: A Tribute To Mary Oliver

“There are things you can’t reach. But you can reach out to them, and all day long. The wind, the bird flying away. The idea of God. And it can keep you as busy as anything else, and happier.” – Mary Oliver

Mary Oliver was born on September 10th, 1935. She was an American poet and winner of the Pulitzer Prize and National Book Award. She died in January this year at the age of 83.

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Oliver left us with her poetic treasures. A gift that so many of us adore and cherish. I humbly offer this article as a tribute to her poems, wisdom and timeless messages that continue to inspire and transform our journey as a human collective.

Oliver contemplated and wrote about the greatest love of her life––-nature. The natural world was her church and spiritual refuge. She possessed a remarkable, intuitive perception with which she used to brilliantly express nature’s wonders and their unseen healing powers. Her message: nature is medicine.

I enjoy sharing her poems with my kids. They are simple, elegant and lovable and because of that she is accessible to everyone regardless of age, culture or education.

Oliver constantly invites us outside to experience natural medicine. It is here where we can rest, listen and nourish parts of our inner spirit that have become fragmented.

“Resting in nature” was Oliver’s spiritual practice. It is what made her a mystic in every sense of the word—living in a “divine communion” with the natural world and it’s wonders. She writes, “I have refused to live locked in the orderly house of reasons and proofs. The world I live in and believe in is wider than that.” She was eager to express this wider world and welcomed us into it.

In her poem entitled "To Begin With, The Sweet Grass" she writes, “The witchery of living is my whole conversation with you, my darlings. All I can tell you is what I know. Look, and look again. This world is not just a little thrill for the eyes. It’s more than bones. It’s more than the delicate wrist with its personal pulse. Its more than the beating of the single heart. It’s praising. It’s giving until the giving feels like receiving. You have a life. Just imagine that! You have the day, and maybe another, and maybe still another.”

She teaches us that every moment we are “present” is another chance for praising. These messages pervade her writings. Whether it is to become present to the ocean, roses, grasses, stones, or swans she wants us to join her in becoming more attentive and absorbed. She believed that we receive nature’s gifts by giving it our full attention.

In her poem “Evidence" she writes, “And, where are you, with your ears bagged down as if with packets of sand? Listen! We all have much more listening to do. Tear the sand away. And listen. The river is singing.”

Have you ever had the feeling, after getting quiet and still, that there is more to life than what meets the eye? This was Oliver’s invitation and challenge to each of us––to find the deeper meaning in all things. That just because you don’t see something on the surface, doesn’t mean there’s not something more there. There is so much we can't see with our eyes, or hear with our ears, yet it is still there. This energy, sometimes called prana shakti in yoga, is alive, potent and inside everything on this planet.

We all know intuitively that there is more to life than what meets the eye. Simply pausing, feeling it and contemplating it ignites our 6th sense and transforms our day to day experiences. Oliver tapped into this. She was in touch with the prana shakti and gorgeously expressed her experiences in her poetry.

It’s like in the movie Star Wars when the Jedi's have to use the "force." What they are really doing is intuiting the deeper meaning of what’s out there. With contemplation they are able to harness their powers that lay dormant.

Oliver’s contemplations on the transformative effects of beauty inspires me. “Beauty without purpose is beauty without virtue. But all beautiful things have this function—to excite the viewers toward sublime thought. Glory to the world, that good teacher.” The world is teaching us that beauty can be found anywhere. It doesn’t always have to be the grand feathered peacock, it can also be the ordinary, simple things.

For instance, in the poem “Mindful” she writes, “Every day I see or hear something that more or less kills me with delight…it is what I was born for—to look, to listen…Nor am I talking about the exceptional, the fearful, the dreadful, the very extravagant—but of the ordinary, the common, the very drab…” We often desire and are searching for the metaphorical fireworks to go off in our life. If this is the case, we may be waiting for some time. Most of us are severely dehydrated and are desperate for some soul refreshment. It is helpful to remember that less is more.

The soul’s refreshment is the simplicity of life––the true beauty that surrounds us in every moment. Ask yourself, what can I feel in my heart when I am looking into the world just witnessing? Am I “here” for it? Or, as Oliver said, “...am I just swimming in my thoughts?”

Oliver asks the question, “If you have not been enchanted by this adventure —your life—what would do for you?” I wonder how many times she asked herself that question when she was growing up. Her childhood was “un-enchanting.” She revealed in personal interviews that her family was very dysfunctional and that her father sexually abused her. Instead of withering on the vine, the tenacity of her inner spirit drove her outside into nature where she took long walks.

Those long walks became her enchantment—the remedy for her broken heart. She wrote about her parents only one time ending with, “I give them-one, two, three, four—the kisses of courtesy, of sweet thanks, of anger, of good luck in the deep earth. May they sleep well. May they soften. But I will not give them the kiss of complicity. I will not give them the responsibility for my life.” Self pity would not be her companion. Oliver was determined to take responsibility for her future and follow her bliss. I am grateful she did, because her poetry now greatly influences me and countless others.

Her words refresh my tired eyes and weary states of being. She is an inspiring role model and a true teacher. Can we all be a little bit more like Mary Oliver? When life is getting us down, can we pause to hear the song of the birds? See the dazzling colors of the flowers? Smell the rain as it touches the earth? Can we trust in nature, even in the silence and stillness? And allow it to console and nourish the dissatisfied places in our hearts?

True nourishment is “somatic.” It is distinct from the brain. We cannot “think” our way towards nourishment, it comes from experiencing a felt-sense of well-being. The elixir is not always found in words, but found in the language of the heart through feelings, sensations, pulsations and vibrations. The universe is constantly trying to communicate with us in this language. Remember to stop and feel it from time to time. If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, give in to it. In a world where hate and chaos is everywhere love is always the way. And there is always more to learn than what is on the surface. Oliver taught me that.

A Yoga Unplugged collaboration - written by Jennifer Reuter, edited by Sarah Burchard

Podcast 12: Dr. Suzi Kiss - How To Tell if You Are Depressed and What You Can do About it

Over the last few weeks the COVID-19 pandemic has drastically changed our lives. Now, more than ever, is the time to take your health seriously and that includes your mental health.

In todayʻs episode Sarah is talking to Dr. Suzi Kiss.

Dr. Suzi Kiss is a Clinical Psychologist who has been practicing for over 20 years. Her areas of specialization include depression, anxiety, relationships and, as she often says, “high-functioning neurotics” like herself.

Today Suzi and Sarah discuss the criteria that must be met in order to be qualified as clinically depressed.

They talk about…

  • How she became a psychologist.

  • Why she chose depression as her field of specialization.

  • How to determine if you are depressed.

  • The difference between depression and a depressive episode.

  • How genetics plays a role.

  • PMS symptoms showing as depression.

  • Suggested treatment.

  • What causes the side effects of antidepressant drugs.

  • The one treatment that may work more effectively than drugs.

When Suzi and I recorded this episode we had no idea it would air during one of the most devastating times of most of our lives.

If you think you may be suffering from depression or know someone who might be please listen, share and reach out for help.

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Contact Dr. Suzi Kiss at:

drkiss@hawaii.rr.com

(808) 944-6900 ext. 1

24 hr Hawaii Suicide & Crisis Line (808) 832-3100

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How To Avoid Decision Fatigue

Decision Fatigue often results in poor choices. It’s the end of a busy day, your brain is tired of making decisions, so it becomes lazy and impulsive.  

Photo by Vladislav Babienko via unsplash.com

Photo by Vladislav Babienko via unsplash.com

But, decision fatigue can be subtle. Unlike running a marathon until you are physically exhausted, decision fatigue mentally drains you until you are disconnected from your core values.  

Whether you are a CEO, an athlete, a parent or retired—nobody is exempt. Our brains get tired because they work non stop. Getting enough sleep and making sure you have proper glucose levels in your brain are helpful strategies. But, when it comes to ensuring your important decisions will be aligned to your core values on a daily basis—meditation is one of our greatest tools. 

Meditation not only offers a reboot for the brain, it restructures it. The theory of neuroplasticity states that you can re-wire your neural connections in any way that you desire. You can unplug from the circus wheel of life and find inner calm, shrinking the amygdala —the part of the brain that is quick to panic during states of distress.

The foundational teaching used to describe authentic meditation is called “yogas citta vritti nirodha.”  

According to the Yoga Sutras 1:2 this translates to:

Yoga: Union/Meditative absorption

Citta: Stuff in your mind

Vrittis: To turn

Nirodah: To calm, quiet and even stop

This means that yoga is what happens when the stuff in your mind, that is always turning, quiets down and/or stops. Simply put, it pauses a panicky brain.

In this teaching, yoga is used as a noun. It is the result of getting your mind and body to settle down and be quiet. Meditation quickly reveals mental patterns or conditionings-- the stuff in your head that is continually “turning.”  What if the turning quieted down? What if your not so helpful thoughts stopped all together?  

What if you had moments of restful alertness where you could “step outside" of your mental constructs and for once not identify with them? What if, instead, you could see them for what they are: twirling and turning conditions of a “limited nature.”  What if you could then step back into life with a bigger view or perspective along with fresh and new possibilities accompanied with a stronger will power?  

All decisions deplete mental energy to a certain degree. Deciding what to wear, which way to drive, what to eat for dinner, how to answer a text, where to take your next vacation, what kind of action to take in a time of conflict, how to be a better parent, how to spend money more wisely, and on and on. These are just daily typical decisions. These are the easy ones compared to life’s surprise interruptions. The challenges that you were not expecting, but are now forced to solve.  

Studies show that by 4:00 p.m. our will power and self-control are at their lowest. By early evening we are more susceptible to irrational decisions or just avoiding life altogether.  

How To Avoid Decision Fatigue:

  1. Embrace a daily meditation practice

  2. Aim to make your toughest decisions of the day in the morning from 9:00-12:00 p.m.

  3. Get plenty of sleep every night

  4. Mind your glucose levels. Don’t allow yourself to get “hangry.”

If these tips feel impossible or unrealistic know that, just by reading this and informing yourself, you have already taken the first step. Changes happen over time and there are no quick fixes.  There is a lot of knowledge out there and finding the kind that works for you and putting it into action will create effects you would have never imagined. 

Gandhi once said: “Strength does not come from physical strength but indomitable will.”  The strength needed to move mountains or simply get out of bed in the morning comes from will power. Will power comes from the ability to unplug, rest, reboot and recalibrate, so that you can stay steadfast and be your best self. The goal is to do all this without ever having to compromise your core values.  

A Yoga Unplugged collaboration - written by Jennifer Reuter, edited by Sarah Burchard

Podcast 9: Kilty Inafuku - How Traveling Can Enrich Your Yoga Practice

Kilty Inafuku is a former engineer turned yoga educator who has trained with the likes of Jason Crandell and Seane Corn. Her teaching style is very methodical, breaking down the mechanics of each posture in a very deliberate way, so that you are moving through each one safely and intentionally. Her classes are both spiritually and physically powerful with a focus on strengthening in relation to mobility.

Her belief is that what we do ON the mat is practice for how we operate OFF the mat. How you talk to yourself, how you approach a challenging situation, how you receive, and how you do you anything in your asana practice is usually a direct reflection of what's happening in your everyday practice of life (the real yoga).

Kilty leads incredible yoga retreats all over the world and travels almost monthly on her own.

In today’s discussion Sarah and Kilty talk about how those travels have influenced her yoga practice and how yoga can influence the way you travel.

Kilty also offers some great travel tips including what to pack, how to travel on a tight budget and how to get in on one of her epic international yoga retreats.

Learn more about Kilty at kiltyyoga.com

Related links:

Trusted House Sitters

YogaTrade

The Travel Yogi

Work Away

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